WATCH: Brokeback Bernie Sanders Releases Hostage Video Disguised as Biden Endorsement

In what looked very much like the iconic hostage video “confession” from Breaking Bad that Walter White made to blackmail his DEA brother-in-law into shutting his mouth about his meth empire (if you haven’t watched the show, you’re missing out on arguably the best TV series in history), Bernie Sanders appeared on camera disheveled and brokeback, a sunken shell of a man, to cajole whatever followers he has left to sacrifice their integrity and vote for the Brandon entity once more in 2024, despite a long list of leftist priorities he promised to deliver last time — $2,000 COVID checks and $15/hr minimum wage, just to name two — that went undelivered and, in fact, totally undiscussed after assuming office.

The endorsement/hostage video is replete with stale talking points that might as well been handed to him by an MSNBC producer with a revolver pointed at his head just off-screen:

“While we may have our disagreements with Biden, it’s important to take a minute to think about what a Trump presidency would mean to our country and, in fact, the world. If you believe in democracy, and I know you all do, if you believe in science, if you believe in justice and workers’ rights…
Donald Trump is a pathological liar. He’s a racist, a sexist, a xenophobe, a homophobe, and a religious bigot…”

This is the same guy, if you can believe it, who, back in 2015/16, was calling for a literal revolution against the ruling class, and is now ostensibly their dutiful lapdog.

Hard as it may be to believe, this is the man who once had MSNBC talking heads panicking about getting lined up and shot on the streets of New York and smearing him as a Putin puppet.

I had long been done with the left at large by that time, but I believed he meant his threats directed at the ruling class at the time, and the prospect titillated me because, no matter where one might say this ideological disposition might fall on the (fake) two-dimensional political spectrum, I have always despised the ruling class.

          Related: Bernie Sanders: The Saddest Sellout Cuck in All of Human History

Those days are long gone, though, and Sanders is now a sad shell of a man, a good boy who doesn’t need to drop the soap to bend over and take it prison-style in his ragged, decrepit, ancient little butthole with a quarter million miles on it.

The scuttlebutt is that, in 2016, the Deep State had his wife on the hook for a shady land deal dating back to 2010 and this was used as leverage to get the old rabble-rouser to shut his mouth and bend the knee to the corporate Democratic machine.

And bend the knee, we have seen, he has, since then having had nothing but the most tepid criticism, always prefaced with profuse praise, for Hillary Clinton (who stole the primary from him) and the Brandon entity, who spit in his face after forcing him to drop out and endorse him as well in 2020.

Via The New York Times:

“A federal investigation into a long-ago land deal by Senator Bernie Sanders’s wife is threatening to take some of the luster off the senator’s populist appeal, attaching the phrase ‘bank fraud’ to the biography of a politician practically sainted on the left for his stands against ‘millionaires and billionaires.’

Mr. Sanders, a Vermont independent, is still riding high on popularity from his presidential campaign, delivering rousing speeches to cheering progressives in Ohio, Pennsylvania and West Virginia.

But he has been shadowed by talk of a deepening investigation into his wife’s role in a 2010 land deal for a Vermont college that ultimately contributed to her ouster as its president. His wife, Jane Sanders, has hired a lawyer to represent her as federal authorities look into a $10 million sale of about 33 acres of lakefront property by the Roman Catholic Diocese of Burlington to Burlington College. Ms. Sanders was hoping to relocate and expand the institution.

The couple and many of their supporters maintain that the investigation is politically motivated and that it was set in motion by the Vermont state chairman for Donald J. Trump’s presidential campaign, Brady Toensing, who filed a complaint with the local United States attorney’s office in January 2016 on behalf of the diocese’s parishioners.

But the facts in the case do not fit well with Mr. Sanders’s populist image. The charges revolve around a $6.5 million bank loan, that was obtained with a promise that college donors would quickly pay back at least $2.6 million of the debt. They did not, Ms. Sanders was ousted, and the college went belly up. The senator had already taken some grief last year for purchasing a $575,000 vacation home on Lake Champlain, to complement his house in Burlington and his rowhouse on Capitol Hill.”

Whatever the catalyst for his transition into a crumpled eunuch, no rational person can analogize Bernie Sanders to any fictional character other than the Gimp from Pulp Fiction.

Ben Bartee, author of Broken English Teacher: Notes From Exile, is an independent Bangkok-based American journalist with opposable thumbs.

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