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UPDATE: McDonald's Twerking Assailant Gets Lawyer, Strikes Back in News Conference

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UPDATE: McDonald's Twerking Assailant Gets Lawyer, Strikes Back in News Conference

Ben Bartee
Mar 24, 2023
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UPDATE: McDonald's Twerking Assailant Gets Lawyer, Strikes Back in News Conference

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I previously documented the pregnant millennial who assaulted a McDonald's employee and then twerked on her way out.

It turns out, the police chief is racist and the young lady is simply a law-abiding citizen who understandably went ape-shit in the McDonald's because her shake was the wrong flavor, as we all have at one point or another.

"Tianis Jones has been diagnosed with mental illness," her attorney, exuding young Jesse Jackson vibes, summarized. The reason she wasn't taking her medication, he explains, is because she is pregnant.

She is also, according to the second attorney who appears on her behalf, the victim of Systemic Racism™. 

Ben Bartee is an independent Bangkok-based American journalist with opposable thumbs.

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UPDATE: McDonald's Twerking Assailant Gets Lawyer, Strikes Back in News Conference

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UPDATE: McDonald's Twerking Assailant Gets Lawyer, Strikes Back in News Conference

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Zarayna Pradyer
Mar 24Liked by Ben Bartee

Let's hope Tianis' child is just as dim as their mother. Otherwise the poor child will suffer a tortured existence.

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Daisy Moses Chief Crackpot
Writes The Heterodox Cheering Section …
Mar 25Liked by Ben Bartee

Whatta sideshow! I guess Ben Crump wuz "bizzy" so they got some 2bit Al "Shark"TON wannabeez an' are doin' a Tawana Brawley "media blitz" (blitz is what ya do to them milkshakes...). I certainly don't think much'a them golden arches (Mickey Dees has been promotin' the Mickey Mouse killer inject-shuns lately) but I surely feel sorry fer the manager /staff / cleanup crew, no sympathy fer "vick-tum" Miss "Tinnitus" Jonez who needs ta have a hearin' (an' a good talkin' to) cuz ears 'r certainly ringin' with this foolishess an' even if she ain't takin' her meds, it appears she's buzzed puhlenty!-- Makes fer good entertainment tho!

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