... insofar as religion? Don't think you'd appreciate my sentiment. Sue and Debbie at the quilt guild say, I'm in the anger phase of my grief. I disagree. I am in the apoplectic phase of my grief. One pissed off mofo, as big a grudge as I could muster over an unanswered prayer issue, if the man upstairs shows his face on my doorstep, telling me how he thinks I ought to be living his life? He gets the hose. I'm likely to put one across his chin. Attitude problem, guilty-guilty, as charged. Most definitely, I am not particularly good company, these days. My sense of humor escapes me. Little rusty on the small-talk, not much in the mood for fun, you won't be seeing me, stuffing my face with popcorn, laughing it up at the cinema, anytime soon. Trying months for me, reflecting upon myself, the 18th this month would have been our 41st. Come the 21st next week, it will have been 18 months since my wife's passing. I've worried, everything's all my fault, that perhaps Barbara having passed away, is on account of, me. Facing a lose-lose proposition, (a) sit Barbara for the coronavirus jabs, as mandated, or (b) abstain from the coronavirus jabs entirely, risk hospitals refusing to admit her, medical professionals refusing to treat her and renew her prescriptions, medical providers confiscating her oxygen concentrators, her airway clearance device, her medical equipment? Circa the apex of coronavirus hysteria, Barbara and I discussed it. Either/or proposition, uncle-uncle-uncle, our arms twisted by the policy community's vaccine mandate, we succumbed. High risk patient, Barbara was first in line for the jab. Married to a disabled, lifetime pulmonary patient afflicted cystic bronchiectasis, just one remaining lung, I was whisked the front of the line, for the Moderna. Turned out to be poison. Months after her third Pfizer jab, her specific oxygen dropped sub-40%, her ABG skyrocketed to 144, her blood pH acidified, Barbara was ambulanced during the wee hour, intubated in ICU, left fighting for her life. Having failed over 20 CPAP trials, 17 days stuck on a respirator in ICU, Barbara perished 2:01 pm on the summer solstice, 2022, longest day of the year. Family, you come through them; they come through you. The only person in life who comes -- for you: your soulmate. Losing family, is one thing. Whole 'nother thing, losing your soulmate. Knockout blow, heavyweight prizefighters don't hit that hard. Broken man, nothing will ever be the same; I will never be the same. Don't know how many more times my heart can hit the floor, before it can't be put back together, again - asj.
All I can add is one of the most intelligent, progressive in the true sense of the word, and warm hearted people I ever met was a Croatian girl named Andrea Cipcic...
... insofar as religion? Don't think you'd appreciate my sentiment. Sue and Debbie at the quilt guild say, I'm in the anger phase of my grief. I disagree. I am in the apoplectic phase of my grief. One pissed off mofo, as big a grudge as I could muster over an unanswered prayer issue, if the man upstairs shows his face on my doorstep, telling me how he thinks I ought to be living his life? He gets the hose. I'm likely to put one across his chin. Attitude problem, guilty-guilty, as charged. Most definitely, I am not particularly good company, these days. My sense of humor escapes me. Little rusty on the small-talk, not much in the mood for fun, you won't be seeing me, stuffing my face with popcorn, laughing it up at the cinema, anytime soon. Trying months for me, reflecting upon myself, the 18th this month would have been our 41st. Come the 21st next week, it will have been 18 months since my wife's passing. I've worried, everything's all my fault, that perhaps Barbara having passed away, is on account of, me. Facing a lose-lose proposition, (a) sit Barbara for the coronavirus jabs, as mandated, or (b) abstain from the coronavirus jabs entirely, risk hospitals refusing to admit her, medical professionals refusing to treat her and renew her prescriptions, medical providers confiscating her oxygen concentrators, her airway clearance device, her medical equipment? Circa the apex of coronavirus hysteria, Barbara and I discussed it. Either/or proposition, uncle-uncle-uncle, our arms twisted by the policy community's vaccine mandate, we succumbed. High risk patient, Barbara was first in line for the jab. Married to a disabled, lifetime pulmonary patient afflicted cystic bronchiectasis, just one remaining lung, I was whisked the front of the line, for the Moderna. Turned out to be poison. Months after her third Pfizer jab, her specific oxygen dropped sub-40%, her ABG skyrocketed to 144, her blood pH acidified, Barbara was ambulanced during the wee hour, intubated in ICU, left fighting for her life. Having failed over 20 CPAP trials, 17 days stuck on a respirator in ICU, Barbara perished 2:01 pm on the summer solstice, 2022, longest day of the year. Family, you come through them; they come through you. The only person in life who comes -- for you: your soulmate. Losing family, is one thing. Whole 'nother thing, losing your soulmate. Knockout blow, heavyweight prizefighters don't hit that hard. Broken man, nothing will ever be the same; I will never be the same. Don't know how many more times my heart can hit the floor, before it can't be put back together, again - asj.
I'm sorry for what they did to your wife. All I can say is that as long as I'm breathing they won't be let off the hook.
You have my compassion, but it will be difficult to start to heal until you get your entities straight.
God did not do this .
Satan did.
All I can add is one of the most intelligent, progressive in the true sense of the word, and warm hearted people I ever met was a Croatian girl named Andrea Cipcic...