Who are the Unseen Biden Handlers Always Chasing the Media Away?

On the rare, and getting rarer, occasions when Biden's handlers place him in front of cameras as a proof-of-life kind of thing, the handpicked "journalists" granted press passes are permitted to ask two questions (three tops) before getting chased away by a chorus of white, female voices braying "thank you" in unison while corralling the press corps out the door.

Such an event occurred recently on Cinco de Mayo when Biden declared he was doing a "major press conference" later that afternoon, which in fact was not a press conference at all and actually a highly scripted MSNBC interview.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," erupted a chorus of Valley Girl-aesthetic vocal intonations which for some reason increase in inflection at the end of their silken commands even though there is no question being asked.

By "thank you," of course, they mean "get the fuck out you peasants because the Adderall is wearing off and he's liable to nod off at any moment."

Who are these people, and why does the press corps not resist?

They never appear in front of the cameras. No one voted for them. No one even knows their identity, yet they are in charge of who gets to talk to the president and for how long.

I like to imagine them like a whole platoon of Nurse Ratcheds of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest fame, gaslighting their charges into submission.

Ben Bartee is an independent Bangkok-based American journalist with opposable thumbs.

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