Kellogg’s CEO Encourages Cash-Strapped Peasants to Eat Cereal For Dinner

In response to skyrocketing prices for actual food — with, in all probability, his own children’s delicate, pampered intestines unsavaged by high fructose corn syrup — hypocritical Kellogg’s CEO has some sage advice for the contemptible peasants: eat my slop and shut your filthy flyover mouths.

Via The Independent:

“Kellogg’s CEO Gary Pilnick has a tip for customers who can’t afford to feed their families: just eat cereal for dinner.

In a CNBC interview, Mr Pilnick spoke about the impact of the severe uptick in nationwide grocery prices and what the cereal company can do about it.

Since the pandemic, inflation has sent grocery prices soaring. According to US Department of Agriculture data, Americans spent 11.3 per cent of their disposable income on food in 2022, the highest rate in over 30 years.

To combat this, Kellogg’s is now promoting cereal as a dinner option for customers struggling to put food on the table, Mr Pilnick said.

“The cereal category has always been quite affordable, and it tends to be a great destination when consumers are under pressure*,” he said.

Asked if this strategy had the potential to ‘land the wrong way,’ Mr Pilnick disagreed.

‘We don’t think so — in fact, it’s landing really well right now,’ he said.”

*”Under pressure” is corporate jargon for “poor as fuck and running out of options to feed themselves fast.”

The promotion of GMO corn syrup-laden pseudo-food as a substitute for real food has been going on for some time by a unified front of the pharmaceutical industry, the agricultural industry, the biomedical industry, academia, and Public Health™.

          Related: White House ‘Nutrition Advisor’ Claims Lucky Charms Are Healthier Than Chicken

I also found this cancerous little ditty on the web. Tony the Diabetic Tiger pops into frame to drill his Pavlovian catchphrase into a vaguely diverse family of four: “When I say ‘cereal,’ you say ‘dinner’!”  

“Cereal!” Tony the Diabetic Tiger yells.

“Dinner” the lobotomized family responds with great enthusiasm.

“Cereal!”

“Dinner!”

          Related: How the Obesity-Industrial Complex Keeps Americans Sick, Fat, and Sad

Ben Bartee, author of Broken English Teacher: Notes From Exile, is an independent Bangkok-based American journalist with opposable thumbs.

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